Most headlines would have you believe that having kids and living on a single income is impossible. But, from my own experience, I would argue that being a stay-at-home parent saves you money in a variety of ways.
As of 2021, LendingTree puts the cost of raising a child to 18 at $237,482. The numbers aren’t out yet, but I can’t imagine how much worse the figure is now. It’s no wonder people are scared and skipping kids altogether.
Admittedly, when our first child came along, my husband and I were in no financial condition to have children. We were fresh out of college and we both had student loans. On top of that, we were living on a new teacher’s salary.
We survived 16 years without me working. (Now that our youngest is in kindergarten, I’m finally back to work five hours a week.)
How did we manage???
One word: Frugal
It helped that both my husband and I grew up in homes where our mothers didn’t work until the kids were either older teens or out of the house altogether. We grew up knowing how to be frugal. My in-laws are both reasonably frugal and I would classify my father as brutally frugal. After all, he had to fund his boating hobby somehow.
Having come from these backgrounds, when my husband and I decided we wanted to have a big family, we figured the only way we could afford that was to have one of us stay home.
Come again?
That’s right–it would have been too expensive (not to mention WAY too stressful) for us both to work AND have a big family. So, I stayed at home while my husband taught school. And we survived financially just fine!
You see, being a single-income household gave us some pretty sneaky ways to save money that some people never think about.
Here are 11 ways being a stay-at-home parent saves you money:
1. Childcare
NOT a shock, but it is arguably the biggest money saver of all. Childcare costs are crazy high if you can find it at all. At an estimated $16,000 per year per child, this cost can be unmanageable. Heck, I had as many as three kids too young for school at a time. I can’t imagine paying almost $48,000 a year for childcare! If you don’t have family to rely on for free or subsidized care, you might not be able to afford to work either. This is where being a stay-at-home parent saves you money in an obvious way.
2. Housing
Hah! This sounds counter-intuitive. Most people assume that with a family you will need more space, and therefore housing will cost more. Maybe, but that’s not how it worked out for us. Sometimes being a stay-at-home parent saves you money in unexpected ways too. We only had one job to worry about, so we were much more flexible about the location where my husband would take a job. We were able to pick a job with a low-cost-of-living location and a higher-than-average salary. In the long run, this might have saved us even more than the lack of childcare costs did!
3. Taxes
If I don’t work, we are only paying taxes on our single income. But our household size of 7 is large. With 5 kids pulling in a child tax credit we pay relatively little in federal income taxes. And, even though we live in what is considered a high-tax state, we also pay very little in state income taxes.
4. Transportation
Besides finding a location (see #2) that had low home prices, we also live where my husband’s commute is a whopping three minutes! We know many people at his work who commute 45+ minutes because a spouse has a job in another area. Because we only have one job to factor in we can live close to that one job. My husband’s car gets very few miles on it, and the gas to commute is minimal. In addition, I’m not commuting to work so I drive very little as well. Besides saving on gas, this means our cars last a lot longer, we have less maintenance, and our insurance is a little less since our mileage is low.
5. Meals
I have time during the day to meal plan, shop sales, and cook. We don’t do takeout (unless it’s Costco pizza). In addition, my husband takes leftovers to work and I eat lunch at home. We also used to have our kids make their lunches until the schools started giving free lunches to every student (now the kids only make lunch when they don’t like the lunch menu). My husband and I still go to a restaurant once a week for a date. But, when we have a special occasion instead of going to a restaurant with all the kids I will make a special meal at home. I also make cakes for birthdays and cupcakes for class treats.
6. Entertainment
It’s not that we don’t go anywhere, because we do, A LOT! But without the constraints of a second job, we can shop around and be more flexible about when we go places. I also have extra time to plan which can save us some serious money. We go to Disneyland in the off-season when tickets are cheap and lines are short, saving us from feeling like we need to purchase Genie+ at $30 per person. Before road trips, I research and find the cheapest gas stations. We make sandwiches and snacks beforehand. Because I stay home my husband and I BOTH have more time with the kids and therefore feel less of a need to spend money on a fancy trip so it can be memorable. We tend to keep our trips simple, staying with family and doing free activities like hiking or going to parks or affordable city-run recreation centers.
7. Work Attire and Gadgets
When I started working a few hours each week I was surprised by how much of an investment it was. My wardrobe definitely needed an upgrade. All the new clothes didn’t exactly fit in my closet the way I wanted it to. I needed something besides athletic sneakers, which also meant my super casual coat wasn’t going to cut it. My ancient laptop wasn’t going to meet my work needs. I stole an iPad from the kids for my PowerPoints and had to purchase a pen thingamajigger for writing on the it (whatever it’s called, my husband got me set up). Thankfully I don’t have work lunches or parties/gift exchanges like my husband. Being a stay-at-home parent saves you money by skipping all these extra costs associated with a job.
8. Full-Price Items
When I’m busy, I spend more. It just comes down to intentional buying. As a stay-at-home parent, I have the time to track prices and buy things when they go on sale. It’s become a way of life. I know what is a good deal for trail running shoes, I stock up when laundry detergent is on coupon at Costco, I buy jeans on Black Friday, and we usually plan big purchases, like cars or appliances, months in advance. If I was busy working, I wouldn’t have the time or the inclination to be so intentional.
9. Maintenance and Services
For over 20 years we have pretty much done everything DIY. Pool, haircuts, lawns, oil changes, etc. When my dryer quit working I watched a YouTube video and figured out how to fix it. When we updated our kitchen I painted the cabinets while my brother poured concrete countertops. I put in board and batten in the hall bath. We all helped out with the hardwood floors. I clean the house and the kids have regular chores. It’s only been a few months since we hired a lawn guy for the first time and that’s because it was an easy way to decrease my workload since I started working outside the home a few hours each week.
10. Kids Education and Enrichment
I am home when my kids (even high schoolers) come home. That means I am there to ask them about their homework and help them when needed. I’ve had the time to research free SAT and ACT preparation resources. I’m available to drive the kids and their friends to the tennis courts. I attend school PTA meetings and I also started my kids out in piano lessons until they were able to decide if they wanted to continue with a professional or not. Overall, my kids know we value education and doing our best. I know their friends and I know what my kids are doing almost every minute of every day. It’s not because I am vigilantly spying. It’s because I am always around. In addition to not needing to hire tutors or pay for after-school programs, this gives us peace of mind.
11. An Excuse to be Frugal
This might sound strange, but it is a real thing. It’s all about the mindset: both ours and others. This is another example of how being a stay-at-home parents saves you money in unexpected ways. People know I don’t work outside the home. I know I don’t pull in a real wage. It allows me to live in an environment where I can be frugal without internal or external pressure. We don’t get hit up for fundraisers as much as two-wage households. Friends send their hand-me-downs our way. Family members are courteous and make sure activities don’t cost a fortune when we are visiting. And I don’t feel the same pressure to keep up with the latest trends or have the newest cars. I also feel like I can say “no” to activities that cost money. As soon as people realize we have five kids and one income, they don’t expect us to spend or live the way many do. In fact, most people don’t even understand how we survive! It’s like the whole universe gives us a “pass.”
Conclusion
Overall, our kids haven’t cost us anywhere near the $237,482 that we are told they should cost us. If it had we would be dead broke right now. As it stands, we have a rental property paid for, healthy equity in our primary home, and are maxing out our retirement plans. Yes, kids are still expensive. But, when it comes down to it, I think the stress of trying to juggle two careers and kids would have been more than we wanted.
As I’ve detailed with my family’s own experience, being a stay-at-home parent saves you money, sometimes in unexpected ways. With my flexible schedule, I’ve been able to handle most of the household chores freeing up our evening and weekends to be family time, enjoyed together.
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